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 Chuck Noris

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Madness
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Posts : 1062
Location : Darwin, Australia (the big F*** off country with Kangaroos)
Age : 21
Join date : 2009-12-21

PostSubject: Chuck Noris   Thu Jan 28, 2010 12:10 pm

Chuck norris doesnt dodge bullets, bullets dodge him


Chuck norris's house has no doors, only walls he walks through


Chuck norris got his drivers licence at the age of 16


Seconds

Chuck norris doesnt wear a watch, he decides what time it is

It takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes

When chuck norris is doing a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the earth down

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.


When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

Chuck Norris doesn't catch a bad case of the Cold but rather the Cold catches a bad case of Chuck Norris.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.


When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.



Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.


If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down
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