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 Stupid Awards

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Mad Frog
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Posts : 1043
Location : Darwin, Aus
Age : 25
Join date : 2009-09-25

PostSubject: Stupid Awards   Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:25 am

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients
were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies claiming they were not mad but had been picked up by the driver.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. An Arkansas man wanted some beer pretty badly so he decided he'd throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block hit the window, bounced back hitting the
would-be thief on the head and knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on the
stores CCTV.

8. As a female shopper left a New York store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the thief. They put him in the patrol car and
drove him back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.
To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said that these weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away again.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near vomit and spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
man had admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he pushed his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!*** And They Breed ...... Be very afraid!!

_________________
There is NOTHING more exhilerating, as being at a randoms party, and hearing YOUR song come on, and the room fills up with people dancing.



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